EYEMUH COMPOOTAH

Sat, 28 May 2005 20:21:22 GMT

If I ever kill myself, it will be to Transatlanticism by Deathcab For Cutie.

Thu, 12 May 2005 17:18:08 GMT

I'm not feeling this whole school thing very much anymore.

Tue, 10 May 2005 18:33:50 GMT

It really sucks when you don't talk to someone for a long time and then you argue about something stupid with them and it goes all sour for no reason.

I'm writing this epic about an astronaut. Brooks gave me the idea and I've been taking it a few notches further. So it's about this astronaut who gets separated from his crew in deep space, who then encounters many crazy sci-fi adventures and eventually runs out of oxygen at the end and dies on a distant moon with a beautiful view of the solar system.

We had an alternate epic topic about a wizard but I don't think the fantasy theme will work quite as well with the kind of ideas we're having. Anyways, the song is going to be about 25 minutes long and broken up into 4 or 5 different sections and it will be composed much like a movie is written. I've been writing the plot on papers everywhere because this project has consumed my brain entirely. And even though I decided not to smoke anymore, I think this song calls for it. It's a special occasion kind of thing. Sort of like getting drunk on new years. I'll only get high when I need to think a little differently to write a song. That sounds responsible. So yes, it's going to rule. The song is going to take all fuckin summer to write but it'll be worth it if it comes out anything like I'm planning.

toodles

Wed, 04 May 2005 18:21:17 GMT

My math class is probably more of a waste of time than your math class.

If that didn't give it away, I'm in math class. Nothing really going on in life though. A lot of girl problems with a lot of girls all at once. I've gotten pretty sick of the struggle to impress these fuckheads. They don't know what or who they want. They may say they do, but I swear to god that every dumb broad I encounter has a sudden change of plans at the last second. It's bullshit. More man-made(or woman-made) drama that just clouds the mind and keeps you from seeing what's important in life. Yourself.

Our CD is going to be a fucking hoot. I'm renting a tympani from this shop and it'll feature a lot more weird instruments.

Anyways, Paul signaled me to leave so fuckall.

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 02:29:57 GMT

I'm playing Earthworm Jim for Sega.

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 23:21:12 GMT

as of the past few weeks, i have become a machine. music pretty much dictates my life now and furthering my own career is paramount. girlfriends, friends, enemies, social status; these things do not concern me. the shallow cultural labels I am surrounded by do not define my own personality; posessions, new and improved needless electronic shit, right and wrong, God, television, money, politics, fast food, love, hate, sadness, happiness, low-carb diets

i want to taste the concrete that makes up civilization. inhale the nothingness, exhale what skycrapers are made of. even when you build over it, the grass and ivy grow through the cracks. somewhere on the world's timeline, there is a dust molocule that makes up the span of human existence. and even smaller than that, at a sub-atomic level, your life is drawn out. i am not wasting the time i've been granted on human drama.

I am moss.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 19:32:30 GMT

I'm at highline listening to myself on my ipod. fullofmyself.

My new motto is "take it easy". I say it in this song I'm listening to and it applies for everything. Nothing can upset you if you just don't let it and I feel I have the right amount of control over my own mind to Take It Easy. Anyways, it's sort of like believing in God only I'm atheist and God can go fuck himself. That reminds me. God must have the shittiest job ever.

Anyways, my music has gotten pretty mellow lately. I've been high the past week or so which might be why.

But I have vowed to only sing a girl-related song once every 5 to 10 songs. They're the easiest and don't require any real thought. What's hard is writing a song from someone else's perspective or about history or politics and actually making it good. For example, punk rock is political. However, that doesn't mean it's not garbage. The idea here would be to use metaphors and imagery that aren't junior high-esque and speak with an adult's vocabulary.

I've been taking an interest in this girl, Kim, the past few weeks. I really care about her and she's probably more mature than I am. I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to date anyone yet though. Like after breaking up with someone, aren't you supposed to slut around a bit and get it out of your system?

Working out.. oh yeah that. It's been a little while. I'll start it back up though. I have a new trainer now though. She's a chick and she's pretty. Which might not be a great idea. Hot girls become 100 times hotter at the gym because all you're surrounded by is sweaty guys. If you see a chick in the midst of that, she's automatically fuckworthy.

This was a big post. Like my dick.
-Tony

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 22:16:00 GMT

I'm sick right now, but I'm happy today.

-Tony

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 23:05:18 GMT

DUDE

I'm at Paul Kessler's house. The Paul Kessler.

I've been playing STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT forlike 8 hours straight. That game rulz. I don't really know why I'm updating this fuckin thing. No one reads it. I don't even read it. This is the last time I'm ever going to look at this particular post actually. What a fucking waste of time. Why the hell am I still typing. Oh I know. Because Paul is in the other room crafting a fucking game board out of foam for his Warhammer toys. I'd join him except I don't have sex with guys so he'd probably feel uncomfortable around me and he'd cover up his Space Marines to sheild them from my heterosexual ways. I don't even know why of all the races, he collected Space Marines. Fuckin' n3wb. Everyone knows it's all about the Eldar. I can't believe I just said that. Paul just called me high maintenence. Yeah that's right. He thinks we're dating. One time i woke up and Paul was trying to eat out my ass with cherry syrup. What a freak dude.

Oh snaps Paul is reading this now!!!!! GOTTA GO DUDE AWWWWWWhskdjgasdkfjghasfgasdfgadsfgasdfgasdfsdafsdfsdf

asdfasdfasdfsd

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 05:30:20 GMT

So here's the sitch;
actually there's no sitch. I just wanted to start off like that. Dustin is playing slide guitar behind and it sounds like a Bright Eyes song. There's not a whole lot to say here... a..

Oh wait yeah. I go to this gym every other day now so I can get extra buff and have a legion of babes surrounding me at all times. Actually that's a lie. Even if I could get that many girls, I only want one. So there's that.

I sort of feel like capitalizing this weekend.

ninja vanish.

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 21:49:23 GMT

It's pretty disgusting when you find yourself on MySpace at 2 in the morning looking for groupies that are single. I feel like a rapist. Or just like a really, really, average, run-of-the-mill, not unique whatsoever, predictable, sex-crazed, painfully common.. guy.

I'm bored today because I skipped school. Lately, school hasn't really been my thing. Sheenna has a new boyfriend and it's funny how that works. I mean, I met her and dated her directly after Morgan, but for some reason, I feel like she's had this guy all along. How often does a girl dump a guy and instantly have a rebound? It wasn't like I left Morgan and instantly had Sheenna. This whole thing gives me a headache and once a-fucking-gain I turned a normal topic into a fucking suicide note. Ughhhhhhhhhh

I'm writing a sweet song right now. That's my only musical update.

Time go get dressed and look like I didn't get dumped. Holy God I haven't shaved in like 3 weeks. Alright, gotta jet.

scoo dop m' doobity doo

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 07:35:47 GMT

Louie Armstrong owns.

I found a harmonica in my room a while ago when my dad went on this cleaning rampage and decided the whole house must sparkle. It's in the key of C and is totally sweet so I'm going to learn it and play folk music with it.

Paul and I are painting Warhammer stuff. It's probably the nerdiest project I've ever started, but who cares? I'm single, I can do what I want and there will be no cunt to say it's nerdy. Just I. Actually that's depressing. I'm back at square one again and I feel like I'm 15 all over again, pre-band, pre-relationship, pre-beingcool. It's weird when for the longest time, you consider yourself cool and a socially healthy person and then suddenly you're fucked in the ass with your pants on and you've ruined 2 relationships in 2 months. Somehow this warhammer paragraph turned into a real downer. I think I'll start a new one.

School is alright. Ugh, now this paragraph is depressing too.

Alright, how about the band then. yeahhhhh. We haven't had a recording session in forever. This is exactly why I hate playing shows. Ugh speaking of shows, the last two were the two new shittiest shows ever. I don't even feel like describing them. But somehow, I think the source of all my problems can be traced to that crazy guy in charge of Phat Fest. Not to point any fingers or anything.

That about wraps it up. My livejournal is extra boring. I already did that joke about it being boring and how it should have a warning before lame posts, so I really can't look cool right now after this one.

asd

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 18:24:50 GMT

i haven't posted in a long time. here's the past month in retrospect:

went on a break with morgan
unimaginable pain
broke up with her
got together with sheenna
more pain
played some shows
christmas was cool
got back together with morgan on new years
renewed everything between us, well that's what i thought.
dumped sheenna because i'm a horrible, stupid, person.
started the second quarter
broke up with morgan again because i'm a horrible, stupid, person.
umm.....

yeah anyways. that's about it. i'll probably start posting again now.

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 00:48:10 GMT

ehhh. bad week. I've been listenin to a lot of Bush. This song sums it up:

It must be your skin, I'm sinking in
It must be for real, cuz now I can feel
And I didn't mind, it's not my kind
It's not my time to wonder why
Everything got white, now everything's grey
Now you're here, now you're away.
I don't want this, remember that
I'll never forget where you're at.
Don't let the days go by
Glycerine

I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time
Are you at one? Or do you lie?
We live in a wheel where everyone steals
But when we rise, it's like strawberry feilds
I treated you bad, you bruised my face
Couldn't love you more you've got a beautiful taste
Don't let the days go by
I could've been easier on you
I couldn't change though I wanted to
Should've been easier for three
Our old friend fear and you and me.
Glycerine
Don't let the days go by

I needed you more, when we wanted us less
Could not kiss, just regress
It might just be clear simple and plain
Well that's just fine, that's just one of my names
Don't let the days go by
Glycerine.

Anyways, the recording is almost done. I start vocals after christmas.

I met a really cool girl named Sheenna this week. Definitely good energy there.

Time to make chistmas cookies with the fam. That's it for now.

-Tony

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 22:56:19 GMT

i need a fucking beer.

i admit. i'm a needy, self-absorbed, clingy, selfish asshole.

cd's sounding great.

my dick is weak from lack-of-use.
i think i forgot how to play guitar.
my dad thinks i'm on drugs.
actually, i can still play guitar.

i'm writing a song about my girlfriend.

because i love her.

i'm sorry i'm a shitty boyfriend.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 04:46:06 GMT

It's been a long ass time since I've updated this blasted thing. So I think I'll go ahead do just that.

Well, the main priority the past week or so has been righting what I did to my girlfriend a little bit ago. You see, I'm Tonyrossi and that means I can be a little bit selfish. It's what makes me tonyrossiesque. Sometimes I don't know I'm being a jerk and honestly think what I'm doing is for a greater good. So I can sometimes be a bit clingy and not give enough space. I did this with Morgan when she needed space and I've been trying to restore my coolness with her for a little bit. It'll work out fine though. Relationships sometimes have problems, no matter how perfect they are. But I learned and that counts for something.

It's pretty confusing really. I think it's a girl thing. That whole suddenly needing space deal. Honestly, I love affection. I can't get enough of it. Maybe that makes me vain, but whatever. It's hard for a lot of dudes to understand that. A lot of guys just really get into the pattern of giving and giving and become robots to their girlfriend's needs. Then they get the shaft because everyone hates a kiss-ass. I totally knew that but it's hard to control. I'm not needy or un-trusting or anything, I just like knowing everything about the girl I love.

Anyways, so that's put me in a sour mood the past few days. That and finals. I won't even talk about those.

The other news is that I bought a new computer. Well, a bunch of parts to a new computer (AMD 64-bit processor 2800+, new motherboard, 120gig serial-ATA harddrive, 3200 speed 512meg DDR RAM, and a new case). SO the computer is pretty beefed up. Probably the coolest part of that experience was putting the little 64-bit processor sticker on the front of the case. \m/

I haven't been able to write good lyrics for a little bit. All my songs right now are coming out as just buttshit. That really blows ass since I have so much to write about. It's like I'm inspired but just lost all creativity.

Diana, Matt and I hung out last night. That was fun. Matt and I went to the meeting today for PhatFest. That show is going to be.. eh, interesting. Everyone putting it on is like 12. I had to be interviewed to get onto the ballad. We probably won't because I think I came off as a cocky jerk, which I am, but you're supposed to hide that kind of thing at this sort of function. They asked questions like "Do you get the crowd into your live show? Like perhaps lots of stage presence and speaking skills?" The real answer to that question is no since we all sort of agreed that talking at shows is for people who are rock-handicapped. I said yes though because there is a decent amount of crowd participation. Oh yeah, we need to record guitars this weekend. Looks like I'm next in line. I can't wait for vocals.

This was probably the lamest post ever. I just summarized my week in a really bland way. I think at the very end of this post I'll put a warning saying it's a boring post. Then people will be mad since they read all of it already. Man, I'm cool.

-warning: boring post-

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 21:35:55 GMT

No one is wrong.

Submission is not an option.

No more crying.

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 23:06:01 GMT

ah, fruitpunch Kool-Aid and chicken top ramen.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 00:02:15 GMT

Behold, the source of all my problems:

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:51:34 GMT

I'm sitting in the library at school, updating my blasted LiveJournal, eying the ice-cold Coke next to my arm that I probably can't drink since I'm surrounded by computers, and meanwhile hitting F5 every five minutes at the Half Life 2 website because apparently today is the release date of the not-so-long-awaited-but-it-felt-like-forever patch that will allegedly remove the god aweful sound skipping problem everyone's been having.

When Half Life 2 came out, I was very excited to say the least. I immediately went to the store and bought the retail verion at a hefty retail price of 59 bucks after tax. Now 60 dollars later, it gets like .000000000000000000000001 frames per second and I do not understand why.

Tony's Computer:

AMD Athlon 2600Xp sp2 2.2 ghz
ATI Radeon 9600XT 256meg Graphics Accelerator
Catalyst 4.11 Video Drivers
512 DDR RAM
120 gig. HD with 75% free (not sure on the HD speed though)
----------------------
What Tony has done to his computer:

-Increased Page File size
-Cleared Prefetch folder
-Defragged
-Defragged Boot files
-Defragged Page File
(make PF something low, like 5meg, then defrag,
then increase back to 1500, 2000, etc)
-Read online tutorials on optimal Open GL/DirectX settings for Radeon 9600's
-Applied newly found knowledge of optimal Open GL/DirectX settings
-Added command line into HL2 source, forcing it to take advantage of more RAM
-Tweaked Registry/MSConfig, obtained several full versions
of spyware protection agents, destroyed all fucking spyware ever.
-Sacrificed 500 cows to the computer gods that call themselves Valve
-Disabled wallpaper and the use of XP themes (Yes, it helps greatly)
-Downloaded Xp optimizing software and gave Windows a massive performance boost

The only thing I haven't done is reformat my computer and I'm not doing that for one lousy game. If Doom 3 ran really poorly and then HL2 did too, then I'd take the hint and reformat. But Doom 3 runs really well. This game is just a massive headache. And then they throw in this worthless program called STEAM and it's required to be open while you play HalfLife.

Steam is a little application that's meant to prevent piracy, it allows users to surf through Valve's retail games online,download the game files, and unlock them via credit card, thus saving a trip to the store. Steam also has a buddy list where you can contact other Steam users and start online matches. It sounds like a dream come true. But..
A. The Lisence Agreement.
No one ever reads the lisence agreements. I do.

-Steam's lisence agreement clearly states that they can boot you from the game if you are suspected of tinkering with steam files or steam game files. This means that with utterly no proof, you can be banned from playing a single player game. That means you have a peice of plastic that is only useful if you go to your friend's house to play (not that the game ran well in the first place or will at your friend's house).
-Steam's agreement also tells you that it can send your system information and statistics out to be used for analysis. This is basically saying Steam is spyware.
-It also states that they can change the terms of agreement whenever they want.

B. Steam has to be operating while you play Half Life. It uses up 15 megs of RAM and downloads supposedly important files, thus slowing down your gaming experience in every which way possible.

C. Steam has to check over it's files and Half Life's files before you can play. This process can take anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes. That means a ten minute wait before you play your single player campaign on a videogame you spent 60 dollars on and have already been anticipating for over a year.

----------

In conclusion, Half Life 2, Steam, Valve, Vivendi Studios, and Sierra all blow ass. Do not buy Half Life 2.

And I am so glad you didn't buy me Half Life for christmas Morgan. It's good that I bought it now so you didn't waste a huge amount of money on your nerdy boyfriend just so he can bitch about it in his Live Journal.

Ps: I love Morgan. Fuck it, I'm going to drink this coke now too.

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 19:52:30 GMT

Yeah, I said I wouldn't post for a while but I'm in the library and some cock has been printing out an entire novel on the printer and I'm waiting to make my 5 copies of my essay that I had to type up and print from my email because the computers here disable word processing. There is nothing to do. I am so mad. That thing is still printing. Copy after copy after copy. I'm going to be late to my class too because of this. ughhhhhhhh

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 05:53:46 GMT

I sorted out all my biggest fears today. And by 'fear', I don't mean phobias (like spiders ughhhh), I mean deep, dark, lack-of-sleep fearrrrr.

Throughout my life, I've always been a fearful person. When I was little, I used to read books about the Greenhouse Effect, Global Warming, valuable rainforests being destroyed for McDonalds cattle grazing land and I would stay up all night worrying and making theories about mankind and how they could be so ignorant.

Now I'm 18 and I've realized that environmental awareness is a slow process and not worth the stomach ache. I have very different and far more materialistic worries now. For example, one of my largest fears is a normal one: not being loved. This is why the very thought of my few enemies makes me ill and I can never hold a grudge.

I'm also afraid of not knowing what's going on around me or being excluded. I'm afraid of ever having to fight someone, I'm afraid of strokes, or more specifically, I'm afraid of the death of someone I love.

But sort of the reason I wrote this is because as I was sitting here looking for a mic to record a song to send to Morgan as a surprise, I realized what my biggest, gut-wrenching fear is. I'm afraid of her leaving me because she barely sees me and it'd be too hard for her to deal with it. It happens to couples all the time with land-barriers between them and I never want it to happen to us. Please don't let it ever happen to us. We can't part or I don't even know what I'd do. My head hurts now from thinking about this.

I'm probably not going to post for a while.

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 19:50:14 GMT

I'm at Highline and I have 6 minutes til I've gotta get the fuck out of here.
But in the meantime....

morose i suppose: i think on thursday
morose i suppose: i'm gonna come back here
morose i suppose: and find a good computer, then save it, then wander around the library and find every person on aim express
morose i suppose: then IM all of them and make fun of them and how they look and be a total creep stalker
youre pipe: hahahaha
morose i suppose: "i like that black mini skirt... you look good enough to rape"
morose i suppose: shit like that
morose i suppose: i have 6 minutes
youre pipe: hahahah
youre pipe: what if they have been raped though
morose i suppose: even better

Chris g3tz hiz n3w drums3t 2day so 1'\/3 60774 60 57|2416|-|7 h0/\/\3 50 w3 c4n 537 i7 up mUtHa tRuCkA.

lol

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 16:18:18 GMT

4 more wars.

I am blown away that Bush won. The republicans on the morning talk radio are having a heyday with it and literally shouting at disagreeing callers. I think they were saying "HE WON. He won. Get over it".

If you can put aside all the many alligations towards Bush and his complete discredit of American veterans, senior citizens, schooling systems and the middle class in general, then you can look at what he has done as The War President.

Bush is a draft dodger.

In the sixties, during the Vietnam War, Bush used his name to get into a cushy, safe, nest in the National Guard. I always find it funny that the people who back the wars the most are the very people who are scared to death of them.

You send human beings, yes, real human beings off to fight other real human beings and kill their families, friends and co-workers for what? Terror, he says. Terror breeds in people's minds. Terror is not an animate enemy. There has always been terror and always will be. The only way to stop terror, THE-Only-WAY to stop terror is to change your policies or negotiate until both sides are happy. Terror is a byproduct of an out of control civilization, namely us. We make terrorists, we kill terrorists. Corporate America triumphs from war profit, the public mournes. This war is not meant to stop. It is meant to spread. It will spread. And now they're saying Bush has an overwhelming mandate? It sickens me to live here.

Our troops are unvaccinated, unprotected, and they are unimportant to us. A "Support our Troops" sticker on the back of your SUV (which ironically, that SUV is part of the cycle of events that led us into the war in the first place)will not save anyone. Showing up, voting, and voting smart; that will save lives. And we blew it.

Bush does not care about you or your loved ones. He grew up getting free rides for everything. He got out of war, he was accepted into a college he does not deserve, he probably cannot even pronounce poverty. If Bush cared about you, you'd have your flu shots, you wouldn't be praying your friends would come home in one peice, you wouldn't be worried about retirement because all your social security is being FORCED into stocks, you would NOT be living in fear, he would not be digging a defacite so deep that it'll take generations of your children to fix it, there would be no needless tax cuts, he would have fought for you in the sixties, he would not have executed record numbers of blacks and hispanics in Texas when he was governor, he would be thinking about every single trinket he takes for granted and every little bead of jewely on his wife's neck that some poverty stricken communist government made for her to wear and he would be saying "I am so thankful I live here". He would not be killing us off one by one.

People can keep living the way they want to live, in ignorance and just along for the ride, but it will not last forever. The Earth has been around for millenia. America is a speck on a timeline and our meaningless, petty, day to day lives are going to eventually end. I want to say that I made smart choices and was a part of a generation that did not take what it had for granted and that cared for life everywhere.

But until we can say that, we are the terrorists.

God Bless.

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 23:45:23 GMT

-------------------
Did you know that...
-------------------
My livejournal screenname (and email) is Eyemuh (I'm a) Compootah (computer).

That's "I'm a Computer".

I have had many people in the past few days wondering what my email and livejournal names mean.
-------------------
...Now you know!
-------------------

Speaking of computers, Radiohead's OK Computer album is not only amazing, it is orgasmic. I bought Hail to the Theif, Ok Computer, and I'm borrowing The Bends. They are the ideal band.

Our show at Graceland was a big fat flop. We got stuck opening and the sound levels onstage and offstage were really bad. When we played the first song, I actually could only hear mush during the verse, so I didn't sing of play for about 4 measures. Then I just came back in during the chorus. How's that for an excellent performance?

I don't really let a bad show get me down though. Generally, when we open, we have no enthusiasm, no charisma. We're just a bunch of robots with instruments. Opening is the worst. Ever. It still doens't make me like re-think my life or anything. A bad show just means we fucked up a little. It's not the end of the world. We'll be recording our next cd pretty soon and I will give that my all and it will be great.

yughhh gotta go eat dinner. Full Metal Jacket is on and Private Pile is just about to blow his brains out, so PEACE.